I'll be honest. I did not love the ending but at the same time, I felt like it worked for the events that happened prior to it. It was more realistic of real life, not the perfect ending that often in reality doesn't happen. Plus our Janet was brave. Coming out of this, I want to jump into this book and give her a huge hug. She's not a bad person. If I Can't Have You” by Charlotte Levin is an all-consuming novel about loneliness, obsession and how far we go for the ones we love. They all stared" it held my attention as we travelled a journey with main character Constance who writes a letter to Samuel explaining her thoughts and actions. She works as a receptionist at a doctors' surgery and falls head over heels with the new recruit. He(Samuel) bubbles along through life merrily using and abusing women for sex and dropping them as and when he chooses. She does not see his treatment of her as horrific and instead chooses to see him as the object of her love and devotion and refuses to walk away from him, as so many people have done in her life, who supposedly loved her. Levin was born and raised in New York City. She graduated from Syracuse University with a degree in English before moving to Los Angeles to pursue a career in television. Levin currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two children. Clad in a meringue of taffeta, tulle and blood, Constance steps onto the underground in somewhat of a daze. As the reader we are instantly drawn into her world and what happened to leave her sandwiched between a hipster and a mother with her child in a bridal gown on a train. The child was in awe of Constance's attire exclaiming "Look at the princess, mummy!" whilst pawing the rustling fabric as other passengers possibly declared her somewhat insane. In that moment, we feel her pain despite not yet knowing what it is. Has she been jilted? Or is she a runaway bride?

Levin’s prose is fierce and original - not once did my attention stray. It fairly bristles with anger - almost everyone in Constance’s life is subject to her cynical scrutiny, but this brings laughs too, especially when she regales us with details about her fellow receptionists and Linda and Alison. This is a fast paced story, for the most part. It meandered a little in the beginning, dragging out scenes with Robbie, Mia and Lizzie with guilt-filled angst that got a little repetitive but was important to understand Janet and her situation. I wanted to shake Janet, scream at her to ditch Colin. That she didn’t deserve all the self-hate, the abuse she put up with. That is wasn’t her fault. If you want a story to get its fingernails into you and have you both wanting to cover your eyes and not stop reading, then this is the story for you. I loved the compulsive ebb and flow of the narrative, the highs and lows of Janet’s journey. Her transformation from a cowed, colorless individual into a women wholly alive for the first time in years. This blossoming then crushed by her anguish as the truth unfolds. I loved Janet who seems to be carrying so much on her shoulders. She's a brilliant creation, torn between doing the right thing and not caring because she doesn't really have anything to live for. Although this is a heartbreaking book in many ways, there is dry humour too and Levin does a really great job at conveying Janet's inner feelings, especially about Colin, whilst simultaneously giving the reader the fuller picture of Janet's rather cheerless life.If I Let You Go is an unsettling, character-driven novel that introduces us to Janet, a young woman who, after a tragic accident eleven years ago, has spent her life in the shadows, performing her cleaning job to the best of her abilities, keeping house and placating her domineering husband, and visiting her elderly father as often as possible, until one night she decides she’s had enough and by morning her life will be irrevocably changed forever when she wakes to discover she’s a heroine of a train crash she can’t actually remember. Janet is flawed and damaged but so immensely vulnerable that even though I didn’t agree with her actions I still could not stop sympathising with her. This is definitely a book where the character spoke to me and I followed the characters and their feelings more than the plot. I didn't really know about this book at first but I did get into it. Janet is a cleaner with an overly controlling husband, Colin. It's clear from the start that something isn't right between the pair, Colin is horrible towards Janet, never lets her go out and always expects her to do everything for him.

As she’s recovering in hospital, unable to remember the events of the night, that video is released and a search for the woman who saved a little girl, Lizzie, gets underway. Lizzie is the daughter of a famous TV chef, Robbie, and his model wife, Mia. Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Libra Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Librarians Group is the official group for requesting additions or updates to the catalog, including: What I did love about Constance was her wit pipped at the post only by a lesser character, Edward, who provided the balance and sanity and light relief much needed in this tale of obsession, loneliness, fear and hope. A well deserved 5 stars. Congratulations to the author.

If I Can't Have You

The book description above has told you a little about the book premise. Janet Brown works as a cleaner. She lives with her husband who won’t be winning any “husband of the year” awards and she’s still grieving an unimaginable loss eleven years ago.